Peace Corps Volunteers do What now...

You have eaten in too many restaurants to count that had chickens/goats/dogs/cats running all over the place.  And you think nothing of it or that it would score a solid 100% in breaking every code; if that were a thing here.

You can eat a whole box of cereal/cookies/crackers in one sitting.  The real success is not eating your entire care package in one day.

You have love affairs with food when you are able to eat something you don’t normally.  And it’s probably not even that good, but you think it is amazing and it brings tears to your eyes.  (What do your taste buds know anymore after eating termites and minnows.) 

You have pulled a bug or a hair out of your food and continue eating.  No big deal.

You carry food around in your bag...Or you might be fasting for that day.

(True story.  One volunteer pulled out a pork chop from her purse.  Wait what? You just have a pork chop in there.  Mad PC skills!)

You drop your last bite of the meal accidentally in your bag and you dig it out and finish it.  You have to.  (I have scooped the top of a container of guacamole that dropped on the floor and ate it.  Some things you just can’t let go to waste.  It was totes fine. )

You continue to drink your beverage even after flies are swimming around in the glass.  You paid good money for that.   I don’t remember sending this drink over for you, fly. 

You have eaten things that you knew were gonna make you sick, but it would be rude to refuse.  Down the hatchet it goes.  

You carry a wine bottle in your bag, but lets be honest it is probably actually boxed wine you have.   Keepin it classy, Kenya.

Whenever you have a refrigerated drink it is too cold for you and you get a brain freeze that is in the big leagues.  It came to play and is not messing around.

You have used water bottles for many things.  Obvi, to mix drinks, or cut them in half and viola you have a cup, or for short calls.  If you haven’t peed in a halved water bottle I don’t know that you can really call yourself a PCV.

You have had entire conversations consisting of only sounds.  In fact, you are a master at wordless convos.

You have experienced emotions you never knew existed or that you were even capable of.  Your heart is exploding, your brain is crying, your feelings have no idea what is going on.  

You would rather have a choo (hole in the ground) than a western toilet because

they just don’t work properly here.

You leave shoes in strategic places around your house to fight off the bugs, lizards, bats, rodents, and any other creepy crawler that invites itself in your home unwelcomed.

You call it a night at 8pm because the power went out.  Maybe the first time this happens you worry about your food going bad, then you realize you don’t have a fridge.  And you are still alive without one. 

(Most of those involved food.  I guess you can tell where my head is at.)  

These tasks make you feel accomplished

Laundry – I mean how can you not feel accomplished you basically turn into a beast of a machine. 

Dishes – Again, you are THE machine and you don’t have a sink with running water so you use buckets. 

Purifying water – It’s a 30 minute process, yo.

Shopping in the market - You had to search and bargain for that weeks food.  And score you got a week of food for less than $5. 

You should then pat yourself on the back you did a lot of work today.

The day has also been a success when…

You send 3 emails.  Definitely pack up and call it a day. 

When not one person asks you for money or your phone number. – Seriously, go buy two drinks and cheers yourself for these days are rare. 

When you watch half a season of a show.

When you don’t watch a single episode of a show.  Remember not a whole lot to do in your house at night. 

You know you’ve been in country a while…

When you hear mzungu mzungu  (foreigner) and you look around saying “where?” and then realize ‘oh, they mean me.’

When your community calls you by your village name and you start to get sad thinking about how pretty soon, no one will use your village name and its back to your actual name.  (Don’t get me wrong parents, I’m a fan of my given name.)  But this happened yesterday.  Someone greeted me by calling me Nahulu and I nearly cried.  The end is approaching fast, people. 

When someone asks you where are you from and you tell them the name of your village and province in Kenya, but what they were really asking was your home country.

When you wonder if you will ever be able to go back to a set schedule and a 9-5 job.

When you can’t even fathom purchasing something anymore without bargaining for it.

Punguza kidogo, Bwana.

I could keep going with these lists but I don't know that you would keep reading so this is a short list of the Peace Corps Volunteer life.  If you have never done PC and were checking things off as you were reading , then um, who in the world are you!  I kinda want to shake your hand.  

BitterSweet

With the last 2 years behind me, the end is in sight and rapidly approaching.  My thoughts have turned from what project to get my hands on next/ how can I make this project sustainable to mentally preparing myself for the transition (if that is even possible) back to America, the beautiful.  The land that I love.

(Apparently, I’m still coming down from 4^th of July celebrations from this past weekend.)

Holidays are always a tough one.  I mean we, volunteers, always end up having a great time trying to recreate American traditions and we make do with what we have to make a pretty fantastic spread of a feast, but it’s just not the same as being with your friends and family back home.  Until you realize that these once upon a time strangers are your family in their own right. 

Holidays away are often sad.  You call home and hear your family together usually doing everything you wish to be doing…sitting around a table overflowing with food.  Going to the beach or the park.  Grilling out and swimming.  Eating.  Eating.  And, yep… you people are always eating! 
(And seriously what is with everyone posting pics of delicious food on facebook. You know who you are.)

But this 4^th of July was sad in a different way.  I mean, yes, I wished to be home and partake in hotdog eating contests and baseball games, fireworks, and cookouts.  But I was sad this time because this was the last holiday I would have here in Kenya with my PC family.  My life will never quite be the same.  

And so this is where I’m at in this experience right now.  How will I be when I return?  What will my life look like?  Will I just jump back into apps, touchscreens, and smart phones?  Because it’s actually been nice, to be in a sense, disconnected and off the grid.

How long will I feel guilty about taking hot showers that last 10 minutes?  Will I forever be adding up in my head how many mosquito nets I could buy for the price of my dinner at a restaurant out?  Don’t even get me started on the price of clothes when I get shirts here for a quarter. 

$2 for an avocado!!!!  I could get that for a nickel.  (Ok, so maybe I've just aged by 40 years!)

How will this experience have changed me and what of myself am I going to lose as I transition back to the American way?

Meshing my Kenyan life with my American life will be an interesting feat.  Be easy on me people. 

 So often in the Peace Corps world you hear about how the transition back home is always more difficult than the initial transition of moving and living in another country. 

Another thing that is said a lot:  No matter how integrated into our host country communities we become we will never fully belong.  And when we return to America, because this experience changes a person we don’t really fit in there anymore either. 

How long will I be confused about where ‘home’ is?

This makes thinking about the transition a bit scary. 

I have had to start google-ing things because I don’t know what some of the things people post on facebook is anymore.   I’m trying to prepare myself for this next step.

But, honestly, I don’t know that I can prepare myself.  Before I left for PC I read so many books, blogs, talked to Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, emailed with currently serving volunteers, whatever I could.   I knew it was going to be a rollercoaster experience and over and over it was said that it was hard.  And I was like, please, I got this, I’m ready.  But until I got here I didn’t know the extent of what that meant.  And let me tell you, no one was lying about that part. 

Except now that it is nearly over it seems easy.  I've got those peace corps issued rose colored glasses on. 

Where I’m standing makes all the difference.

I have had a countdown because I am ready to be home and while that is exciting to think about it is also sad because I am not only counting down my return to the land of the free but I am counting away my days in Kenya. 

I am eager to be back in my homeland, but Namboboto has also become my home.

And so the countdown stops with only one page left to turn on my calendar. 

So I can no longer tell you how many days it is until I will see you, America.   Just that I will see you soon.